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“The Buddy System”
From the beginning of human existence, from the time of man’s creation by the Lord, a truth that has never been revoked is “it is not good for a man to be alone.” We read that statement in Genesis 2:18 in reference to Adam being alone and his need of someone to be with him. The “buddy system” isn’t to be used only by children on a field trip or swimming at the lake. It is supposed to be a part of our lives. We all need a “buddy.” When we find one our lives are instantly better. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 is an important section of our Bibles. This is one of my favorite passages about the “buddy system.”
“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 12 And if one prevails against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
I came across a sad story in my reading. James Limberg wrote a commentary on Ecclesiastes and in the commentary, he reprinted a newspaper column. Originally it was published in the Minneapolis Tribune newspaper by a columnist named Ellen Goodman. “When he died at the age of fifty-one, his obituary said the cause of death was coronary thrombosis, but most people knew better. At the office six days a week, often until 8 or 9 at night, his friends and family said that he had simply worked himself to death. Yet on the day of his funeral, when the company was already making inquiries about his replacement, the president looked around the office for candidates and said, “Well, who’s been working the hardest?” But the killer line was delivered by the dead man’s wife. When a friend said, “I know how much you will miss him,” she said, “Oh, I already have.” His wife had already been missing him even though he was alive until the day he died. The column used the phrase “family and friends.” Were those two groups really that close? If time isn’t spent with people, can we really claim a close relationship?
The Bible often uses comparisons to make a point. I Samuel 15:22 says it is “better to obey than sacrifice and to hearken than the fat of rams.” One of the two is better and the Bible doesn’t leave us in the dark as to the better. Proverbs 15:17, “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.” No doubt which is better! Our passage today delivers this same truth. It is better to be with a friend or friends than to be alone. The last phrase of our passage is “and a three-fold cord is not quickly broken.” It doesn’t say it can’t be, it says “not quickly broken.” I want to give you three quick truths from our scripture.
Buddies, give you Help. Look at v.9-10. When you have someone to come along beside you, and you them, both of you are blessed and the reward is better (v.9). If you fall and you have a “buddy” they can help you get back up but “woe to him that is alone when he falleth.” Help is a good thing for all of us. Almost every situation in life is better with someone else with us. It is true in marriage; it is true even in our walk with the Lord. Isn’t it wonderful when we have a brother or sister in Christ that can help us when we are stumbling under the burdens of this life?
Buddies, give you Warmth (v.11). Remember this name. “Turner Freddie Freeman Foskey.” That was the name of a little dog that belonged to our two oldest grandkids. They were the only two at that time. We called him Turner. He was a feisty little thing that weighed about three pounds. He’d stand on his little back legs and punched the air with his two front legs like he was boxing you. Deb and I have never had animals in our home, but Turner lived in the grandkids house. Early one morning that January, they all came bursting through the door and Turner was with them. He ran into our room, jumped onto the bench at the end of our bed, jumped again to the actual bed and then in one split second disappeared under the covers where it was nice and warm. Turner was smart enough to find warmth. The visual of verse 11 is a freezing night. We might immediately think of marriage. Most likely two people are traveling in the wilderness. There is no HVAC or modern heating method. The two travelers are cold and miserable. What’s the solution? Get close. I Kings 1 relates to us a story of King David when he was old. He was freezing, not an electric blanket in sight for the next three thousand years. What was done? Enter Abishag, a young girl. The Bible is clear there wasn’t anything intimate between David and the young lady, but she had one job, lay next to the king and keep him warm. When we have a “buddy” our lives are warmed many times over.
Buddies, give you Protection (v.12). Safety in numbers. When we are together, we can protect each other. Think about the programs such as Wild Kingdom when you were young. Think about videos you see now about lions, tigers and other predators as they search for their next meal. They usually are seeking a lone animal, one that is away from the herd. Why? It is easier to take them down isolated than in a group. It isn’t that the predators couldn’t cull one away but if they were to get in the midst of a huge herd they could get trampled themselves. When families are together there’s protection. When churches are together there is protection. When you have a “buddy” you have protection when the attacks arrive.
The children of the Lord were not created to be alone. No matter what the job, it is almost always better to have a buddy. From working in the nursery, to teaching a class, to starting a new ministry, it is better to have a buddy or several of them. Look once more at v.12. “Three cords.” The more cords, the stronger the rope. I do not think the writer has in mind a marriage. Why? Three cords would be illegitimate in than setting. The only exception I can see is if the third cord would be the Lord. The most likely truth is there is help, warmth, and protection in numbers. When we are close with each other, we make each other better. The best buddy system I have ever had always revolved around the church and still does.