I want you to meet Bobby. He is a fictitious little boy but describes thousands of children just like the ones in our church and our community. He comes to church with his mom and his stepdad. They usually attend about one or two weeks a month. He spends every other weekend with his biological dad who lives in another city with his “other” family. When Bobby is at home it’s not unusual to skip Sunday school because his parents stay up late and like to sleep in because it is their only day off. He has a teacher named Ed who calls to check on Bobby, but Ed has only had Bobby in class a couple of times in the last 7 weeks. Bobby’s mom tells Ed, “He won’t make it this Sunday because of football tryouts but they’ll try to make it next Sunday.”
Do you think Little Bobby is the exception or is he the average kid in today’s America? If you think Bobby’s story is the norm you’d be right. A survey of many churches was conducted, and the results were sobering. I’ll share four of those results with you. Church #1 the average child attended 1.4 times per month. Church #2 the average child attended 1 time per month. Church #3 looked at their records and found that in a year the average child attended less than 50% of the Sundays. The time spent in their children’s ministry per child was estimated to be between 15 and 18 hours per year. Church #4 had 154 kids enrolled in their kid’s ministry. During that calendar year only 1 attended every Sunday. 106 of the kids in church #4 averaged less than two Sundays per month.
What do these churches tell us? It tells our pastoral staff we aren’t training Bobby because he isn’t here. It tells Bobby’s teacher to pray harder for the little fellow because he’s not in class.
What do these stats mean for Bobby?
● Bobby likes to be with his friends but not too many are at church because he doesn’t come enough to build those friendships. In a couple of years, he will be a teen, and his friends will mean even more. If those friends aren’t in church, he will most likely begin to push back on attendance.
● When he does attend he likes Sunday School and the kids church program but not a lot sticks with him because of his patterns of attendance. He remembers some of the stories but doesn’t really understand the main story of the Bible.
● Bobby will spend over 60 times as much time in school during a calendar year as he will in church. Church is simply not a priority for his family.
● Typical kids like Bobby will spend more time on media (computer games, phone calls, TV) in two days than he will the whole year in church.
As the late Paul Harvey would say, “Now the rest of the story.” Bobby’s dad and mom are counting on this schedule for his spiritual training. The results are we will lose Bobby most likely.
What’s the answer? There are some things parents can do to make a difference for Bobby.
1. Bobby’s parents can decide to become committed to regular attendance. If they come Bobby is coming also.
2. If his parents would volunteer (and be truly committed) for helping in children’s ministry, then Bobby would be a regular in attendance.
3. If Bobby’s best friends were at church, he would love coming to church. One expert in children’s ministry made the point “relationships always trump programming.”
4. If Bobby felt connected to his teacher, he would learn more from the scriptures. The connection comes when we are with each other.
What can the church do to reach Bobby?
● We continue to pray for Bobby and his parents, encouraging them to a higher commitment because their child is important.
● We try to do a better job training our teachers and children’s ministry workers. These workers need to know about these children and their interests. They need to know their birthdays, schools, friends, visit in the homes, and strive to be a better teacher or leader.
● We make our adult Sunday School a great place for the parents because if they come Bobby is coming with them.
● We personally get excited about serving in the Lord’s work and attending the Lord’s house because all the “little Bobby’s” matter to God.