Being a stepfather is hard if you truly want to help raise another man’s child. Problems naturally arise especially if the children are older. Lots of questions about how and what to do in various situations. How much do I involve myself in discipline? How much patience do I need and am I willing to try? Joseph, not the one that saved Israel in Genesis, but the one in the Gospels of Matthew and Luke, took on the task of being the stepfather to Jesus. I think he is one of the most overlooked men in the Bible when it comes to fatherhood, even if it was step-fatherhood.
I believe that God had Joseph in his guiding hand as much as he had Mary in his plan. Joseph was hard-working, simple, and honest, but most of all God-fearing. ISBE makes the statement that “Joseph possessed large sympathies with a warm heart.” God blessed him because of his heart. God rewarded him with the privilege of helping rear the very Son of God. Not just anyone could have pulled this off. Joseph was a man with integrity, character, and wisdom enough to follow God when prompted. The Bible calls him a “just” man. He was righteous in his life because he was righteous in his heart. Think about his actions. Those we know about contained in the Bible.
- He was a protecting stepfather. We first see this protection with his dealings with his espoused wife who turned up pregnant. He could have brought her to the gate of the city and exposed her to the Jewish leaders as having committed adultery, but he did not. He decided to put her away privately so as not to shame her. We also see his protection when he took Mary and Jesus out of Israel into Egypt because Herod the Great was searching for him to kill him. Herod wanted no other king in his territory. Not only did Joseph protect these ways but imagine the protection that was needed when the ridicule, slurs and gossip were hurled at the family. Remember this was not the 2000’s, it was a long time ago and step-fathers were not highly thought of unless the situation was him marrying a widow with children. Marrying a girl already with child was tailor made for humiliation and disgrace in those days. Joseph stood tall when others would have crumbled.
- He was a providing stepfather. Working as a carpenter was hard work. In ancient times carpenters did not just work with wood they also worked with stones and rocks. Joseph was taught the skill by his own father, and he would pass this along to Jesus, and later to the other boys as they grew from children to men. The carpenter shop would not make you rich, but it would provide enough money for food and shelter for the family.
- He was positive in his outlook as a stepfather. Why? Because with his heart breaking over the girl he loved he was still open to the leading and direction of God. Gabriel himself was dispatched to deliver the good news saying, “Fear not to take Mary as your wife. The child is conceived of the Holy Ghost.” Once he received that bit of news he was all in with the plan of the Lord. He sought direction and God delivered it just when it was needed.
The last time we see Joseph in the Bible is at the end of Luke 2. Jesus is only twelve years old. The family had come to Jerusalem for the Holy Days and both Mary and Joseph thought Jesus was with the caravan headed back to Nazareth after Passover had ended. Three days later they found Jesus in the Temple asking questions the experts in the Old Testament could not answer. After that episode in Luke, we do not hear any more about Joseph. Most scholars think he died well before Jesus began his public ministry around thirty years old. They think this because at the wedding in Cana, Mary is attending but there is no mention of Joseph.
Are you a stepdad? How do you rate on the Joseph scale? He raised the bar high, did he not? Whether you are a stepfather or a biological father the traits of Joseph are to be looked at and used as an example for us. Are you protecting your family? Are you providing for your family? Are you positive in the leading of God in your family? I hope and pray you can answer yes to these three points. If not, let’s get to work.