How Did Everything Get So Messed Up?

Perhaps the greatest tragedy of Western Society is the destruction of the nuclear family and the major problems that are birthed by its destruction. The biblical definition of a family is basic: husband, wife, and children. There are certainly some variations in that family structure (the death of a spouse, extended family like grand-parents, divorce, etc.), but the most basic is husband, wife, child, or children. I came across an old article from 1996 concerning out of wedlock births. “Since 1970, out-of-wedlock birth rates have soared. In 1965, 24 percent of black infants and 3.1 percent of white infants were born to single mothers. By 1990 the rates had risen to 64 percent for black infants, 18 percent for whites. Every year about one million more children are born into fatherless families. If we have learned any policy lesson well over the past 25 years, it is that for children living in single-parent homes, the odds of living in poverty are great. The policy implications of the increase in out-of-wedlock births are staggering” (Brookings Institute. Aug.1, 1996). That article was almost thirty years ago. The rate today is even more staggering. Among whites, the rate was 10 percent in 1980, and it is now 30 percent. Among blacks, it was 23 percent in 1980 and is now 72 percent. The problems that come with single parent households are massive. Those children are more likely to be poor, quit school, the girls get pregnant, or end up in jail. How did this all get so messed up?

Our society has left the biblical foundations upon which society was based. The attack has been planned and implemented by those that hate the very God that instituted the order. It can be traced back to Satan and the attack on the first family. Strife between Adam and Eve, blaming everyone but yourself, and even putting hatred in the heart of brothers that resulted in murder. But Satan has his minions to help with the destruction. Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels were communist and wrote the Communist Manifesto. One of their stated goals was the eradication of the nuclear family. They knew while the family was intact inroads would not be made. They lived in the late 1800’s. More recently, a well-known writer and pundit, David Brooks wrote, “The Nuclear Family was a Mistake” and this was published in The Atlantic in March of 2020. Why did these men, along with many others, have this thinking? Romans 1:28, “And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient.”

I have heard the statistic that Christian families have a divorce rate that is as high as unsaved families do. I doubt that, but that discussion is for another time, not today. How do we stop the destruction? We go back to the beginning. We remember that marriage is God’s idea, not man’s idea. Genesis 1:27-28. In these two verses we see the creation of man and woman. Both are made in the image of God. They are told to have children and fill the earth. God expands that understanding in Genesis 2:24.

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh.” That’s marriage, the way God designed it. Another aspect of going back to the beginning is found in Proverbs 1:7-9. Great wisdom is found in these three little verses. 1. We see the basic unit once again. Father, mother, and son are mentioned in verse 8. I say we embrace the pattern of the Bible. 2. We see the basic responsibility of raising children is that of the father and mother. The father is to instruct, and the mother is to teach (1:8). Both parents are involved. It isn’t the school that should raise your kids. It isn’t even the church. It is you as a dad and mom. School and church can assist, but the bottom line is, it is up to you. 3. We see the foundation for this instruction and teaching in verse 7, it is the fear of the Lord. We always begin our children’s education with it being God-centered. 4. We see the result of this type of family. “For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck” (1:9). The blessings of having a family and doing it God’s way are abundant. My challenge is for Christians to mimic as much as is humanly possible the pattern for the family the Lord has set before us in the Word of God. When families are broken, we will do our best to minister to them and help them, but many problems can be dodged by making biblical decisions now instead of listening to the godless and their thinking about many things including the nuclear family. A mentor and friend of mine named Bill Monroe said something forty years ago that I have never forgotten. “I would rather build the lives of boys and girls than to mend the lives of broken men and women.” There is no greater place to start building the children than in the home. In the month of May, we celebrate Mothers, and in June, we celebrate Fathers. Let’s celebrate those beautiful roles everyday, not just two days a year.